Infertility? Invite That Bitch to Tea!

I’ve listened to many infertility stories. Varying diagnoses, differing ages and backgrounds…yet all sharing a prevailing narrative. A sense of overwhelming anguish and loss. Loss of child, loss of hope, loss of sanity, loss of self. That very sad narrative was once my story too. Infertility induced anger-filled rages, bouts of tear-filled self-pity, stages of pessimistic hibernation…been there, done that, had enough.

I often find people landing here on my virtual doorstep, looking for advice on how to be happy while struggling with infertility. My answer? Give up the struggle, and take that bitch to tea!

You know what’s exhausting? Fighting. I’m not talking about the fight for a child. I’m talking about the fight with infertility. The games, the drama…she’s like a terrible friend. A friend that you want to cut out of your life, but need to remain cordial with.

Rise above, be candid, and tell her how you feel. Tell her that you’re tired of her controlling your every thought. Tell her you will no longer allow her to come in-between you and your husband, your friends, your family. Tell her that your hope and faith is stronger than her hold on you. Tell her that your purpose, your existence, your life…is not solely based on having a baby.

When you finally reach an impasse with infertility, you in fact conquer it.

Your marital bed doesn’t have to be a site of manufacture, and you don’t need to live your life in an endless series of 28-day cycles. It takes a tremendous amount of courage to face infertility. When your perception of your own ability to manage the threat of infertility outweighs the challenges it presents, freedom is found.

What I’m saying is, yes, even infertiles can be enlightened. ;)

Learn to love life, the moment…this very moment, regardless of the good or bad. You see, life is never static, and that’s what I find most beautiful. It is beautiful because of its ups and downs, twists and bends, roundabouts and straightaways, and ebbs and flows in general. Nothing is permanent. In fact the only constant is constant change. “This too shall pass” is a reminder for us, on every occasion when we feel excited, when life is kind and good, and in the darkest moments when we feel down and out, when life is bitter and cold…that everything shall pass.




My Happiness Bible:
“The Power of Now” by Eckhart Tolle